Not Asleep Yet

I wish, there's this one particular person who I can tell anything to. Not saying my best, good, close buds aren’t like that, but just a person to talk to about my problems, about family stuff, personal things, just anything. Even minor stuff and they’ll respond. Not by just ‘skay,’ or ‘oh,’ then goes to another subject.

I wish, there’s this one particular person like me, so I can understand ‘em well, and we can go crazy together.

But true, some things you can’t tell others. Some things you just had to keep it to yourself. Let it disturbs you, let it fills and plays around inside your mind. Dancing around in front of you eyes, making you think about it over and over again as if you’re watching it all over again like when it happened.

Dang I’m saying this maybe because I can’t sleep. Imma force myself to sleep, now. Tomorrow my school or ex-school having fourian run, I’m attending, not participating. So night, gonna gts now

Untitle

You can run away from anything, except your problems and responsibilities.

It’s too fast for me. Everything. 2011. Only for 1 week I was a student for form 4 in my old school, yet till now I still can’t believe I moved to a boarding school, stay in hostel, comes back only during holidays and so much more. 
Too fast.. As if I stand there in the middle there, watch everything goes around in front of me.

Reminiscing the things I’ve gone through, made me wish if only we can travel through time or have a memory recorder, so we can watch it over and over again without being worried of loosing it.

Kho, don’t go laaaa

Imma miss you :(
You and your hmm , ok , what else? haha 

You, is it me or whenever we look at each other we want to say something, but donno how to start?

I am not perfect, nor extra-ordinary girl like you, nor sincere, kind hearted 24/7. I’m just me, thats our difference.

I miss you, annoying cheerful human being. I wish I was there when it happened. I wish I was around near you.

I miss the old times when we shared laughter, joy-ness, but now I realized something. You can never be there , not always. I know I can't have you all the time when I need you , I understand.

Have you heard the phrase a girl’s heart is like a piano? You will never know the songs hidden in those black and white keys till you figure it out. You’ll never know the secrets inside a girl’s heart till you know ‘em. Everyone have their own secrets right? Play well , 

It’s been so long I didn’t see you, well, felt that way, but dang. You look good. I miss you :(


Dear, I'm sorry if I changed, I'm sorry if you felt abandoned, ignored and all. I'm sorry, I love you.


Dude, I'm sorry for replying your text late. Sometimes I do it on purpose because I don't want to text anyone on that time. I'm sorry


Just letting it out, to the one who think they're who I talked about, so that notes are for you

Be optimistic, but prepare for the worst 

Tuesday Morning

Teehee :D


    Hmm, I thought they gonna hit the road at 7 or something, buat penat je bangun awal == . Bengoklah. I'll miss you so much, I wish I can hug you again. Ah, my pillow, damn it, my night best friend love ya ;) 
    My lappie, ugh if they allow me to bring my lappie, dang Imma be superrr happy :D 
    Hah, but what's the point having a laptop without the broadband eh? 
    Weeee I'm sorry if I made you cry, or felt left out, be happy, optimism is important, or else just stick with the motto 'life sucks then you die' hihi :D 
    My bag, it's HUGE and pretty heavy, oh dear who gonna lift it up for me? :O Ayah, ayah bawak tau, ayah kuat lagi kan? Hehe boleh tambah muscle *winkwink* 
    Kk, I think Imma go now? Thinking what else should I bring besides my awesome pillow :( 
  
Ciao ! 

On That Day II

I never thought by just the thought of it could made my vision went blurry. My mind started saying no. I just can’t accept it even though I prayed I would get in, but not anymore. On that second, all I thought about was my school life, I don’t really mind leaving my family though HAHA :P, but yeah, my friends, they’re just pretty important for me since they’re my light, who shines for me :’)

  I shook my mom’s hand while she was driving asking her to tell me she’s kidding. I was sobbing on that moment and Yuen was behind me. I was like ‘you’re kidding right? Please tell me you are,’

My mom, she really wants me to go to boarding school, for my future. My dad too ==’ Haha so I got no backup, I must swallow it by myself. At least my friends was there to cheer me up :D

Yea, I did cry in the car and Yuen asked me was I crying. Hahah, I laughed, and answered ‘of course I’m crying,’ Ah, that moment, felt so miserable thinking how am I gonna tell my friends. Asked my mom how she knows, she said she got a phone call that afternoon and I must go that school on Tuesday. It gave me an impact a bit, but I was so sad, I don’t even know how am I going to tell ‘em, especially Angie. I wanna tell face-to-face, cause I prefer it that way. I planned to tell all my friends on Monday, but it seems like it’s so short, the time left. Then I started telling my friends during the weekends. Some of them on Monday, I'm sorry guys, I got no balls to tell you. Enough with the tears 3 days in a row, that's why.

I told Ange when we were having the phys class, supposed to go there at 5, but we came at like what? 6? Hahah but man, the phys teacher was very good, he can make your mind open and see it. It’s like kinda easy, makes me feel like taking phys. Hahah. The fees are rm70/subject but if you take phys and chem it costs rm130 . The papers they gonna give and all, cost is it like rm50? Comes with a free phys book. Dang I want that phys book. Btw, the class is on Wednesday, 6.30 in segi college, yup besides summit. Got 30 mins break before chem starts. Haha, I’m promoting lol. But seriously, the ttion is REALLYgood. Oh, the one on this Wednesday, it’s free. Trial class.

Back to the main subject, it was a pretty tough weekends, had to buy hostel stuff, I think overall included some of my school stuff, I think might reach rm1k, a lot eh? Went shop in Mydin, (hostel stuff) then go Subang Parade (school stuff) . Oh, btw the stuff my dad bought was not my stuff only okay?

Ah then Monday, tough day. Haha pretty tough day. Rushing here and there, tears here and there, hugs here and there. I miss you, I love you, take care , ah so good to be loved xD I’m just awesome, what can I do? Pfffffffttttttt HAHA vain much eh?

And Qash, how could you? My other friends gave me hugs, you gave me slaps? AHAH one of a kind, that’s why I love you. I love your eyes, especially <3

Angie, cry no more kay? Hihi I ain’t gonna die, chill yaw. If not, I’ll give you a box of tissue for your birthday present mwahaha . Imma miss being around with you and your vain-ness. Hihi, yea I’m calling you vain now :P

After all the rushing, best moment, had Frisbee that evening. I was from Angie’s house. Lepak-ing with her, ate her chocolates, yes I loveee to eat. I love chocolates, thats why I brought chocolate to school. Can distract people easily. Like during the recess, they were like

‘You’re moving, why laa?’ And I was like,

‘You want chocolate?’ Got almond, and it’s Cadbury.

‘Oh yea, sure.’

They got easily distracted J Weeee hahah. No sad sad moment.

Played Frisbee, it was fun though it rained, hahah. After that played splashing water, almost everyone was wet. Haha, dang I had cold for a while. Had to go early since I left the certificates in Ange’s house. But thanks for the Frisbee guys. Thanks for coming, Radzi, Razzi, Kenneth, (it’s kinda a long list so suck it up) Rong, Ju-Ean, Putra, Eleeza, Amelia, Lucas, Cia Yee! Fariz, Amy ! Thanks for coming too, and her cousin, Najaa and her friend too. Oh, the ex form 5, Aiman and Brian. Ah, I miss the smiley Brian hahah. Hah, last but not least, Vinoth, who came 5 mins before I had to go cause he got his iphone, rich dude ==’ . Gavin, you’re still a pro player now. I’m so proud :’) and jealous HAHA. Weeee Frisbee ROCKS!

It’s after 1 already and I have to wake up early, so I’ll write more when I have free time, uh maybe during the weekends? Omygod, tomorrow, :/

Guys, if you’re reading this, I want to say I love you all and I’ll miss you. I hope I’ll find awesome people there like you guys in that school. Like Nave always say,WHOOOOSSSHHHH :

On That Day

How odd, you have a lot of people around you, yet you can still feel lonely. I think that’s my situation now. Pft, my families are sleeping, my friends are sleeping, of course I’ll feel that way. Hah

It’s 3.30 now, I want to sleep, but Imma just finish this, lets rewind…. Till Friday, Jan 7. I was really happy that morning, perhaps you can call me high. I talked, a lot, as always. My hobby, J . Whenever I meet my close friends I hugged them and said ‘I miss you’ though I meet them for the past 4 days.  

I bounce a little bit when I walk, that’s my happy walk. When I’m bored, I’ll find a way to entertain myself.

I remember I went to the toilet with Ili for quite few times. We were bored and wanted to get out from that class. Our tudung kept giving us problem, must check it frequently, sorry girls if the mirror in the toilet broke :P . The weather was very nice, neither too sunny nor too cloudy. Just perfect, I loved it.

Ibu told me earlier she’s coming to school and talk to the counselor teacher bout the class I shall take. She filled in the form and applied for sub science class since she wants me to take phys and ict. Angie also told me got phys class for free at 5 in summit.

During recess, got ceramah. Met ibu, and she told me bout it. She said its up to the principal if she wants to approve or not. I did listen to whtver she said. So after the discipline ceramah was over, ili asked me what did my mom say. I told her what my mom told me, literally. She told me not to move, cause she doesn’t want me to, but I told her, ‘it’s either I switch class, or move school,’ Our conversation ended there, sorta since its recess. As usual, I recess with Angie, who else heh? ;) Hihi, not to forget, Navetha (the whooosh girl) and Jamie

I was not that hyper after what ibu told and the ceramah we got, haha. Sorta ruin my happy mood. Add maths class after recess, but teacher didn’t come, so me and Ili went to R class, hang out for a while until their teacher walked in we just walked out and headed to our class and do our normal routine,

School finished. Mood ; down. Walk, weakly, no energy, felt lifeless. Blank.

Told Angie maybe I was just tired when she asked what’s up.

Get Yuen at the bus stop, haha she told me she cant barely recognize me by the way I walk cause she said she can easily recognize me from far by the way I walk, and she told me I looked fat xD Screw that white baju kurung, haha. Saw my eld sister with her friend at the bus stop, carpool. Her frnd’s mom send her home.

Walking halfway, ibu came with her car. Kinda odd, cause ibu wont come home for lunch without ayah. Ayah wasn’t there, that’s why. She wanted to fetch my sister, but I told her my sister going home with her friend. Yuen was at the back seat. I complained, she doesn’t have to walk home, I must walk home,

Ibu replied ‘you don’t have to walk home anymore,’ with a smile on her face. I was curious, she doesn’t seem like joking though.

‘You’re quitting your job?’ I threw a guess. I doubt she’ll quit her job with our unstable family economy haha. She shook her head with a smile. So I reflexed. Might be a good news then since she’s smiling.

‘You’re hiring a driver?’ I snorted and turn to her. She shook her head again with a smile. Then something came across my head.

To be continue, almost 4.30.

P/S : I wanna wish happy birthday to my dad, hopefully my singing (or shall I say lullaby since he was lying on the bed, eyes closed cause he was just about to sleep) was good hiih. It doesn’t rain, so far. So I guess it must be good then HAHA

First Day School

Wow. School. Wow.

Used to wake up whenever I want, this morning mom woke me up and pull me up. I was sleepy, of course cause I slept at like what? Almost 2. Fyi I am no morning person even though I like morning cause you have peace and watch the sun rise is just, such an amazement :D

Anyways, when mom woke me up, I was wondering to myself why she woke me up so early when she said its 6 o’clock. I was still sleepy so I dozed off, half asleep. That was the part she said it’s school now. I was like shocked, but I was sleepy though, so I slept, again fr like 10 more mins or so

Then my dad came, sound us (my sisters too) I was like crap, its almost 6.30, eyes went wide, brain started working (whining in a way cause didn’t get enough rest haha) , still feel sleepy, then had bath, prayed, ate, ciao to school.

That’s the part, odd-ness. Form 4 now. I’m basically 16. I’m old. Nooooo.. L

Well school was fine, met Angie :D My leng lui bestie :DD hahah

I got art class ! How awesome? So many ppl trying to apply for sub, but there’s only one class for sub, sad rght? Even some of the pure science students wanted sub science. Why la? Pure science is good alrdy oh. Haih, just stay in that class laa.

Oh, I realized something too, I mean for sure haha canteen got an extension. It seems pretty cool but Angie said got not enough seat, they should’ve put more seats cause students aren’t getting lesser yaw,

School finished, hujan pulak ==’ Went home, shoes were soaked with water, literally. It was wet and a lil bit dirty. Dang I’m not the type who wash the shoes every weekends okay, you might be surprised when was the last time I washed my last year’s shoes. Haha

Right.., I got history notes to copy. Damn it. Right away! If postpone, later the laziness will take over and I do not want that to happen. Ciao !